Are you glad it's Friday????
Sven and Ole,
Two Minnesota engineers were standing at the base of
a
flagpole,
looking up. A woman walks by asks what they were
doing.
"Ve're
supposed to find da height of dis flagpole, " said Sven, "but
ve
don't haff a
ladder."
The woman
took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts,
and
laid the pole
down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from
her
pocketbook,
took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six
inches," and
walked away.
Ole shook his
head and laughed. "Ain't dat just like a voman! Ve ask
fer
da height and
she gives us da length!"
Sven and Ole
have since quit their engineering jobs and are
currently
serving in
the United States Senate.
~~~~
Your Duck
is Dead!!
A good story! For anybody who's had some tests at the doctor's office lately...
A good story! For anybody who's had some tests at the doctor's office lately...
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
~~~~
You know the drill...
if you're smiling, you must pass it
on, give someone else a smile too!
on, give someone else a smile too!
I hope you smiled today!
~~~~~~~~~
The Twitter Tree© will be hosted by a different shop M-W-F.
Wednesday: http://elunajewelry-nc.blogspot.com/
Friday:http://http://butterflyintheattic.blogspot.com
My items:
Give the gift of warmth for #Valentines The Lord's Prayer Lap Quilt Baby Quilt @ChristieCottage http://etsy.me/Su85we #Retwt
Sweet! Felted Pouch, Mini Purse, Wool Knit @ChristieCottage http://www.artfire.com/ext/shop/product_view/christiecottage/2761223/ #retwt #Like2







5 comments:
Dead duck, now that's cute.
Have a good day.
yep I have a smile not :)
Trouble is, in real life the doctor would order those tests whether you wanted him to or not! Cute jokes.
Cute!
heehee...good ones.
Debbi
-yankeeburrowcreations
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