Suicide-Widow Wednesday

 22 years ago today, my world shattered. I miss my husband. Suicide sucks. 

The pain of that day is always with me. The man who chose me  to love and marry out of all the women in the world, died. 

We laughed everyday. We enjoyed each others corny jokes. He loved my cooking. 

He loved my long hair. 

I had cancer the year before he died and he asked me if he could have my hair if I had any left when I died. I said he could. He died first. I cut my hair off and gave it to him. Laid the braid across his chest and between his hands, to be in his hands forevermore. That’s why I won’t cut my hair. What’s on the end is what he touched. 

If he were still here we would be old and fat together. He’d love his grandkids and would pester them nonstop. 

He loved me with every ounce of his being. He was always afraid he’d lose me. No way!  I was his until death do us part. He took my heart with him. 

You may see me smiling and laughing , but it’s not the same smile I wore when he was alive. 

I moved on in life, but my love for him has never changed. He will always be my husband.